When It Is Actually Happening

Every page in this section was written for someone reading it shortly after something happened. They answer the immediate question first, then explain the reasoning, so you can stop reading as soon as you have what you came for.

Nothing here diagnoses anything, and nothing here tells you what is happening in your own house. What it can do is tell you what usually helps in the next hour and what usually makes the next hour worse.

My Teenager Punched a Hole in the Wall: Check the hand first, talk later, and do not read the damage as a measurement of your child. What the hole tells you, and what it does not.
When Your Teenager Hits You: Get distance first. What the police route actually involves, what happens if you do not use it, and who can advise you. No verdict on your parenting.
Why Is My Teen Only Angry at Home?: Fine for six hours at school and furious by four. Why home gets it, why the school is not lying to you, and what actually changes the first half hour.
What to Do While It Is Happening: No magic phrases, because they do not survive the room. What decides whether a line lands, when to leave, and what to do with your own anger.
When Your Teenagers Fight Each Other: Step in for contact, for a cornered kid, or for a mismatch. Stay out of who started it. The house rules that actually cut it down, written for teenagers.